My hate-tolerate-hate relationship with honey

Do you have an affliction or fear that keeps you from doing certain things on a day- to-day basis?

Well, I confess I have a bee problem.

Yes, that fuzzy honey-toting insect so highly regarded for its pollination of crops around the world. At one point, there was a report that honeybees were at risk of becoming extinct in the United States. Pfft. Apparently, someone got that wrong. They’re alive and kicking.

If you must know, I’m not particularly fond of honey, either. (Well, maybe it’s good for a couple of things, but I won’t go there.)

Anyway, my fear has caused me to take preventative measures over the years, and to live a certain way.

I must have a car with air-conditioning. In the summer, bees tend to fly into my car. It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, there’s Nett. Let’s go scare the crap out of her.”

Many years ago, that happened to me and I almost caused injury to myself and my children who happened to be in the back seat. Somehow a bee managed to get into the car and I went ballistic. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I pulled over to the shoulder of a major highway, and continued to scream and run around my car in an effort to get away from the bee. Mind you this is a major highway, so there were MANY wide eyes passing by, probably wondering, what the heck? Sad, I know. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

I can’t watch anything on television with bees. My sister who is closest in age to me, (remember, I have two) thoroughly enjoys my affliction and on occasion, calls me up to tell me there’s something great on television that I should see. How naïve am I to think, this time she’s really telling the truth? Very naïve. I turn the channel and there, in living color, are a pack of bees swarming around a beehive collecting honey. Ewww. Each time she does that, I pull the sister disownment papers from my desk drawer.

It’s become so bad that I can’t read anything with bees. I borrowed Sue Monk Kidd’s wonderful book, “The Secret Life of Bees,” from a friend at work. I was so determined to read the book because I’d heard such great things about it. I settled down on my favorite chair one Saturday, totally enjoying the book. Until chapter 3.

You got it. A pair of beekeeping sisters, showed the young heroine of the book, how they keep the bees. Needless to say, I have not finished the book. Nor have I watched the movie, with Queen Latifah, Dakota Fanning and Jennifer Hudson, and I love the acting of all three.

It’s also increasingly hard to walk my dog in the summer, particularly when he wants to stop and smell the flowers. There always seems to be the largest bee buzzing around. Buzzing. Waiting. I’m also afraid they will sting him, so I politely move him along to a grassy knoll with no flowers. I’m told that only wasps, and hornets sting, not bumble bees.

Yeah, okay. Sure. Guess who won’t be waiting around to see if that’s true.

The strangest thing about my fear is that I’ve never been stung. I’ve been running all my life. I even thought about hypnosis to help calm my fear. But I quickly changed my mind. The doctor might discover all my other issues, or perhaps have a conversation with one or all of my characters.

And there is no way that’s going to happen. Those conversations are reserved for me. 😉

Okay, your turn. Spill.


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